Saturday, April 23, 2011

Leadership





Your dad lacks ambition, Owen. It’s not that I lack drive or a good solid work ethic; it’s just that I don’t need for there to be a particular ‘end game.’ Some people ask me, “Well, what about setting goals?” I set goals; they are just a little more general than others. My goals are contentedness, fullness and happiness. Well, that really gets some people questioning my sanity.

I always thought ‘goal setting’ was a little untrue to the scientific method taught to us early, as a way to determine the truth of any particular function. One of the keys to the success of this process is to refrain from assumption. Not ‘trying to prove’ a theory is taught as an important frame of mind for many professions like science, inventing, exploration, journalism, observation and evaluation. Not limiting oneself to the notions that one can imagine is so important to the function of growth, especially if that growth is to be extraordinary.

I am a good worker. I work hard, with integrity and often assume leadership roles as needed. This has helped to land me jobs as Kitchen Manager, Chef, Sous Chef and various positions in the Food Service Industry that involve being classified as a leader. These days son, I watch as other younger men and women pass by me on ‘The Road of Success’, as it were. Much to the bewilderment of partners and family members, I might add. I am happy to play my part as an informed citizen in the place that I work though. I thought I would try and explain why this is, as some of the people closest to me seem to not understand my philosophy regarding promotions and ambition.

First of all, I believe leadership should be spontaneous, temporary and fleeting. Our society and especially our corporations are built upon the notion that ‘strong, stable leadership’ is the way to strength. Management positions are often vied for, and there are immediate changes in personality when one is promoted… in most cases. And in my case. In almost every instance of my promotions, no matter how cognizant I was of my actions, I changed the way I acted and talked to the people I now supervised. In fact, most companies advise that you change your social interactions with the people you manage. If you used to go out for beers with them, stop. Upon your ‘knighthood’ into management al l of society seems to promote the idea that you are now separate from the others. This ironically dilutes your effectiveness as someone people want to listen to. Retaining the flexibility and relations that got me the promotion in the first place were immediately degraded the moment I put on my title.

I believe leadership should be fluid. The best instances of leadership occur as needed, sometimes by more than one person. I witness ‘group leadership’ daily where I work. Often it seems that the people that are getting paid substantially more than I have the least understanding of what is actually going on where I work. This is a common complaint amongst the working class. In the end analysis, I am not convinced that management positions are any more than a training position. This, if viewed this way, makes perfect sense. How else to really get a feel and appreciation for what everyone is doing, than to step back and get a “super vision” of the situation. I often am reminded of the military training technique that puts a different person in charge for every single training mission. No complacency, no laziness, no assumptions, no guarantees of power and exclusiveness. You are a leader, for now.


So, I don’t take promotion hints and offers these days because I like who I am better as a regular. I feel just as empowered, if not more so with this title. I can say whatever I want and not be responsible for others actions. Why would I want that? Sure more money would be nice, but there are multiple studies out now that prove that after a certain amount of money, happiness is not increased. I have lots of freedom, I make plenty of money and I still assume leadership roles when appropriate….then I slip back into the rank and file, where we all end up eventually anyways. At ease.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Great X-Mastations

Hey there little elfkin. Just wanted to reflect with you, a bit, on your first holiday season. We are now in early January and approaching your first birthday. This is my favorite time of Winter, after Thanksgiving, Christmas and News Years. It is much more quiet, peaceful and generally reminds me more of the Jesus Christ than the weeks previous.

You seemed to enjoy your first Christmas. You kind of got the whole 'open your present' thing, but mostly you were only invested for a minute or two in any one gift. You had little expectation for what Christmas was supposed to be and it was nice to see you so happy. But your amazingly happy most of the time. People comment on it, randomly in the grocery store, family get-togethers and what not. It has only been in the last couple of weeks that I have noticed you crying more when something has been taken away that you were using or interested in.
You cry now when you want something or when something happens that surprises or startles you. This is all fine and well, and totally natural. It is also a little sad. The little creature that seemed perfectly happy just being alive, may be transforming into the little human that we are ALL more familiar with.

A great man, or at least a very good man that I know once told me, "All of life's pain comes from expectation."
He was telling me this as he easily brought me to my knees in some friendly sparring. Though he was using this to demonstrate the ineffectiveness of trying to predict or anticipate an attackers intention, he also brought this notion up when discussing life's more mental and emotional pains. I have found this to be one of the most profound truths in my life. Another profound truth, that seems to run perpendicular to our societies ideas of happiness.

As far as the holiday season is concerned it abounds with expectations. We expect to get some gifts, we are expected to give some. We expect people to smile (even if faked) and tell us how much they like our present. They expect to hear from us how much we loved they're present. We expect to get a 5X7 glossy photo of friends and relatives who otherwise are mute for the year, and they kinda expect us to hang they're likenesses on our refrigerator. We expect the car next to us to LET US IN! We expect there to be ham. There should be wrapping, lights, trees, chocolates and record spending. This is the ultimate time of expectations, ironically at a time when we claim to celebrate the opposite quality. Giving without any expectation is the declared goal, but few of us attain that goal, in fact few of us bother pursuing it. The fact is son, the more I find myself living without expectations from other people, or even myself....the happier I am.

As we come upon your birthday, a son was born on the coldest day of the year January 13th. I will intend to father you with no expectations. I expect I will fail at times with this. Maybe though if I just intend it, with no expectation of failure, I'll be more successful. We'll see I guess. Love you, Pa.