I think people have a misconstrued idea of what it means to be a friend. I think they think it means someone who supports them in any decision they may make. A person who is expected to hold them up and assist them in taking the next step, regardless of what it is. Not me, I’m gonna let you struggle sometimes. Some seem to believe that to disagree with a friend, is not to be acting friendly. Not me, you will know that I disagree with a decision you have made, if it affects others in negative way. Some folks believe that being a friend means that your significant other will never implement boundaries, rules of engagement or consequences. I disagree with all of that. A friend is someone who loves you, wants you to be happy and allows you all the freedom in the world, as long as you are not harming them or anyone else. This is the friend you will find in me.
My friendship is flexible and it will grow with you. I will grow alongside of you offering guidance and support. When you are ready to grow away, I will be the rustling of the leaves near by, whispering my support for the light inside of you to grow….grow. Even if we should be great distances apart, you will be able to feel my care, my interest, my desire for you to experience joy.
Of course the subtleties of our friendship will change over the years. As you get older, move out of house and start out on your own I will have to let you hurt people. We have to learn about the power of our negative thoughts, actions and non-actions. Sometimes our actions hurt others through their resistance and their expectations. Sometimes we hurt others by being thoughtless and unempathetic. As your friend, I will let you go and experience for yourself.
For now though, as you are under my care, you will be able to feel my friendship in the quiet of your room after you are done crying. When you understand that I took your toys away for my own good, as well as yours. You will feel it when you are far away with your mother and it appears that I am missing. You will hear it my voice, in years to come, when you remember me telling you, “Get off of the computer and go read, play outside or draw.” You will remember the time I did not let you get into a car with some friend or go to some party that felt too unsafe and you will know. You will see it in the scars and chipped tooth and know that I DID allow you experience many of the negatives of life for yourself.
I am going to be the best damn friend a person could ask for. That’s my plan. That’s really the entirety of my plan, as well. I hope it is enough. I hope that I can serve you well dear one.
So here’s to a great friendship. Here’s to the fantastic friendship I feel we already have. Here’s to mutual respect. Here’s to all the laughs and other stuff. I am so lucky to count you as a friend.
