Thar' Be Light Matey

The other day, we were walking to your classroom.  You looked up at me, mid-stride, and simply stated that you loved me.  We both kept walking. I asked you, “What did you say?”  This time you looked up at me and said again, “I love you Daddy.” I tried to think of something that I had bought you recently.  Was it the gingerbread house I bought you at Trader Joe’s?  No, you already thanked me for that days ago. What prompted this spontaneous expression of appreciation?  There had to be some sort of cause for this, right?  I asked you why you said that and if everything was 'ok'.  I was acting like I didn’t know.

When you were born, the day you were born, your presence was clear.  Who you were, where you came from and what you were part of was ‘known’. It was obvious. You were absolutely filled with wonder and appreciation.  You were fearless and adventurous. Your presence was “it”.  It was completely motivating for your mother and I. Since you couldn’t do much with your little Jello body, laying there smiling was literally all you could do….and it captivated whole rooms. That energy, that beauty, that force is still you, as you evidenced to me the other day on our walk to your class.  You are still that unconditional beam of light.

This world, in its’ endeavor to show you all the things you are not, will appear to be urging you to become like itself.  With its’ expressions of fear, anger and confusion it will feel as if it is pulling you nearer and nearer to itself.  In the living of my own life I have found myself slipping and sometimes intending those shadows.  I eventually determined, perhaps I should say I eventually remembered, that I was more than all the things I saw around me.  I remembered that I was that beautiful force too.

As I get older, I am 46 now, I am slowly coming around to a basic premise that I used to hold as a self-evident truth; we are light.  We are creatures of light and love.  It is our basic nature, THEY are our base instincts.  As you brought forth this truth with your simple, supple little newborn body in January of 2010, you brought it forth four days ago.  It is still who you are.  It will always be who you are. Happy Birthday Owen! Thank you and I love you too.

Reindeer Games

It is a strangely targeted lie.  It is meant to fool you, Owen.  It is a lie that involves an old man, who really has no business lying to children. The man wants you to sit on his lap.  If everything goes as planned, he will watch the you throughout the year and then sneak into your house in the dead of night.  No one can stop this old man. Even parents cannot stop him, even though they know well in advance of his intentions and capabilities.  In fact, parents often are seen enticing the man with food. Just when you have come to trust the man, your parents will explain to you that he is untrustworthy.  They will explain to you that they have been lying to you about this man, and what he does, even though they themselves have been urging you to trust him.

What a great tradition, right?   Not only is every adult lying to you, but they are all accentuating the exact opposite philosophy  of the person the claim to be celebrating. “Judge not, and ye shall not be judge”, said Jesus Christ.  Not this Santa Claus guy, he will judge you “naughty” or “nice” and then reward you accordingly.  The total focus on gifts and worldly goods also adds to the haze.  There is,also, the inconsistency of judgement that this man renders.  I mean, how does one who sees all give a brand new bike to the kid that you saw steal candy earlier this year?  

These lies you have been told surrounding this time create complications. Is it possible that they undermine trust in you and your parents relationship?  Is it possible that they undermine your ability to trust in anything that the adults have to tell you?  Yet everyone is on board, it would seem. I mean, how can everyone else be wrong about this?  There are lots of times when the majority of people were wrong concerning a tradition or belief.  You do not have to look very far into the past to see that.  

When you ask me whether Santa Claus exists or not, my reply is, “That’s what I hear”.  I know that I am not being quite as honest as I would like to.  I don’t really have the guts to explain to you that it is all a lie, and not a very well thought out one.  I fear that you being the only 6 year old that doesn’t believe will be more harmful than beneficial.  I have acquiesced.  

I am not worried, you will figure it out.  Possibly, I have implemented just enough ambiguity to preserve your trust in me.  I want you to have a wonderful Christmas, with all the joy, wonder and magic that is inherent in this fantastic time of year.  We don’t need facades for this.  We don’t need Santa Claus, The Pope, Odin or Krampus  for this, do we?  Last night I heard a famous Native American say, “..we Indians love to be scared (through stories).”   It appears to me that all of our ancestors enjoyed a good, dark, sooty scare.  Perhaps, it is time to return to the light.